Category Archives: Tips & Advice

Tips & advice

What’s your ideal church service?

(I started this blog entry months ago and am just now finishing it, so if the first part sounds odd to those who know what I’ve been up to lately, that’s why…)

I had to drive back home from my parents house tonight, not really a long drive, but an hour and a half allows for a decent amount of reflection.  I spent most of the time musing about the differences between various church services, and what some people consider “proper”.  I grew up in church and gave my life to Christ when I was 8 — over the years I’ve attended services at more churches than I could even think to count, in a wide variety of denominations.

The past few years I’ve been gravitating more towards pentecostal churches (while searching for a new home church) and the overlaps between what people consider “pentecostal”, “holiness”, “full gospel”, and “charismatic” can sometimes make for some very unexpected experiences when one goes to check out a new church.  Many of the people from the churches I grew up in hear the word “pentecostal” and immediately freak out, recalling stories of poisonous snakes being passed around during services, people barking like dogs, or just mass chaos.

I recently went to visit a church with a good friend of mine, they considered themselves old-fashioned holiness pentecostal, and they’d just come out of a 2 month revival.  At one point during the worship service, amidst other things like crashing symbols, head-banging, isle-running, people dancing jigs, etc, I looked up to find the little 70-something year old pastor jumping 6 feet or more, from the very top of his lecturn down to the floor below the stage.  I found this quite astonishing, given his age, and felt the need to tell Mom & Dad about it.

Services are markedly different at their church, and I’m sure they would be completely uncomfortable witnessing one like that.  In any case, on the way home I was thinking about the differences and which of the various types of services makes the most sense to me, and why.

My thinking went like this…  Church services can be about a number of things, depending on the congregation and why they’re coming to church.

Some people see church as a social club, or a weekly obligation.  Services, then, are all about social gathering, ritual, visiting your fellow congregants, and putting in your obligatory time in prayer, communion, or whatever activities are seen as part of what you call “church”.  Much like a board meeting, there’s an expected set of activities and an order to follow.  The service goes best when everyone is calm, collected, and in their place, so that the event can run smoothly and people can get on with their lives.

Some people see church as a place to recharge after a long week.  They come wanting to be entertained, get their fill of fellowship, have their emotions revved up and their heart refreshed.  Services then should often get the kids out of the way (so that they get a break from parenting), and should knock their socks off.  The music has to be positive, upbeat, and energetic.  They want to get wound up, pumped up, and filled up so they have the energy to take on the coming week.  The worship leader has to know how to stoke a fire, and pastor’s job is that of a motivational speaker.  If people with this attitude are pentecostal or charismatic, they also want the Spirit to entertain them, so they want to hear tongues and see people dancing and running and get so worked up that they’re disheveled from the excitement by the time the service ends.

But are either of those things what church is supposed to be about? Is going to church supposed to be filling a social obligation?  Should it be all about you and your needs?  Or is it supposed to be about filling your obligation to God?

Yes, we often need recharged after a long week, church is a great place to meet people with similar interests, encouraging messages are great, and getting all worked up while singing can be a really great experience, but you can get all of that at a concert of your favorite band, or maybe at your local senior center, depending on your tastes.

God’s saving grace wasn’t offered as a club membership card. Christ’s radical sacrifice pulled us out of certain doom, and we should be excited about that.  We should want to shout it from the rooftops  (or twitter, perhaps, these days).  We should be excited for every chance to draw closer to him.  And yes, we can do it from home, it’s not necessary to wait til church time (and we shouldn’t wait) but we humans are so easily distracted by the everyday mundane and the slings and arrows of life, and sometimes that weekly meeting is necessary to refocus ourselves on what is important.

Part of a healthy church service then, I think, requires time to reflect on what He did for us, time to refocus and regain that gratitude that we had when we were first saved.  Some of that comes in worship.  Not just singing praise songs, but true worship — true focus on giving God the praise he deserves for his love and sacrifice — sometimes with song, sometimes with prayer, sometimes with testimonies and praise reports.  And when we’re in the worst places in life, sometimes hearing others give those testimonies or praise reports, hearing others truly praising God, is enough to help us find our own way back.

When you go to a concert you may scream praise for the musicians, clap, yell and sing along at the top of your lungs.  Why?  Because you love their talent?  Because the words they wrote mean so much to you?  Because they’ve provided you with entertainment for a fee?  When you go to church, do you sit on your hands and try not to fall asleep?  Is God’s sacrifice such a small thing that you can’t even give him a shout or clap your hands?  If you do shout and clap, is it to praise the worship leaders, instead?  As if they’re really there to entertain you, to get you worked up, instead of trying to lead you to a closer walk with God?  Is there something wrong with this picture?

Our commission wasn’t to come be entertained once a week for the rest of our lives, it was to go and make disciples. Just as we can’t train people to follow Christ if we’re not following Him ourselves; we can’t teach people about Him if we don’t know about Him, so part of our job as Christians is to be good students.  And if we’re going to be getting together once a week to refocus on praising Him, perhaps we should learn more about Him while we’re there.  That’s the whole point of having teachers and preachers, I think.  Not to tickle your ears, tell you how great you are, inspire you, send you home with warm fuzzies; but to teach you, to correct you, to help you grow in your walk with God so that you can do a better job of going out into the world and spreading the good news.

“But what about the Spirit!?” you say. And to that I say: the Spirit doesn’t come to entertain us, either.  The Spirit doesn’t show up just to give you a warm fuzzy, or a message in tongues, or knock you on the floor, or make you run around screaming.  He’s not there just to serve you.  If He shows up, and if you don’t drive Him away, He’s there about the Father’s business.  Sure, depending on your personality type and how you react to Him sometimes that means you’ll get that warm fuzzy, or a message in tongues, or you’ll be knocked to the floor from the intensity, or perhaps you’ll get so emotional about it that you’ll run around screaming.  But that is not the point of His visit, and if you focus on that — if you focus on your own emotional response — you’re missing a lot.  Now, yes, the Spirit is a comforter, and part of His job is to comfort God’s people, but He is also meant as a helper, not for each individual but for the kingdom of God as a whole.  (1 Corinthians 14 has a good discussion of all of this).

Sometimes it serves God’s purpose to comfort a person in their time of sorrow, sometimes the Spirit’s job is to chastise, sometimes to edify, sometimes to teach, and sometimes to fill a person with power and give them the right words to speak.  What the spirit does with you in one service is not what the Spirit will do in every service.  God’s voice may be in the fire one day and in the still small voice the next.  If you come wanting to get riled up and excited with every service, God will not be able to have His way when He needs you quiet and reflective.  If you come wanting to sit on your hands and have a nice relaxing time, God will not be able to have His way if He needs you to shout a message of encouragement.

God knows what He’s doing, and we need to let Him have His way in ‘our’ services.

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Filed under Bible Study, Tips & Advice

How to lead the best church ever!

This list is intended as a funny way to call attention to some of the major problems in churches today.  In case it’s not painfully obvious, nearly everything that follows contains pure, dripping sarcasm.  Unfortunately, I have encountered some or all of these issues/attitudes in most of the churches I’ve visited over the past decade or so.

  • Your church does not need to be accessible.    After all, you don’t want any disabled, injured or old people in your congregation anyway, right?  They’ll just get in the way.
  • Those posted hours?  Not important.  There’s no reason to show up for services, no one’s coming anyway.  And don’t ever leave a note on the door if you happen to go elsewhere or cancel service, no one’s gonna come by to check out your church on the one night you’re gone, especially if you have a big blinky welcome sign out front.  Whatever you do, do not call your regular members and let them know what’s going on if you have to cancel a service, they won’t care if they show up and the doors are locked.
  • If you’re a pastor, be sure to complain about former members that have wronged you, or the church, from the pulpit.  Your congregation needs to know you’ll snipe at them behind their backs if they ever do you wrong.  It won’t look bad on you personally, and it’s not gossip or anything.
  • Stay far far away from the internet.  No one who just moved to your area will ever think of looking for a church online, and no one wants to keep up to date with church activities on sites like twitter or Facebook, the whole of the internet is a silly, evil fad, and it’ll eventually go away if you ignore it.  Never return emails or phone calls either, if it’s important they can ask you face to face.
  • If someone misses a week or two, just forget about them.  If they really care about God they’ll come back eventually, and if they don’t you were better off without them anyway.  No one wants their church family calling to check on them when they’re sick or unable to get to church.  And they certainly won’t want to hear a friendly voice if they’re depressed or oppressed.
  • Any visitor that comes through your doors and doesn’t meet your personal standards for dress, hygiene, adornments, skin color, class, or anything else should be immediately ostracized so that they know they’re in the wrong place, preferably before they even get a chance to sit down.  This can be accomplished with dirty looks, scowls, whispers, and random gasps from a trained congregation, assuming you don’t wish to take a more direct approach.  It’s only fair that they know from the get-go that they aren’t welcome, it’ll save awkwardness later.
  • Be sure to complain regularly and loudly from the pulpit about the horrible people that keep calling the church asking for help and handouts.  And whatever you do, never ever let the song leader sing songs with lyrics like “God loves a cheerful giver”, “give me Your love for humanity” or “they will know we are Christians by our love”.
  • Do not, under any circumstances, find something for a church member to do if they come to you asking how they can help.  No one really wants to feel like they’re doing something constructive for God or the congregation, so they must have an ulterior motive.  If you deflect or ignore them enough they’ll give up and leave you alone, a sure sign that you were right and they really didn’t want to help in the first place.
  • If someone is too loud, sings off key, gets too excited during worship and actually shows emotion, yells “amen”, or has the audacity to bring their child into the sanctuary with them, you should make sure they’re immediately pulled aside and schooled on proper church etiquette.  Patriarchs like David never danced, or sang, or acted ‘crazy’ when they got excited about God, and Jesus never would have let kids get close when he was preaching!
  • The pulpit is the best place to call out the sinners in your congregation.  If you find out someone’s fallen into a specific sin you should preach a sermon against it as soon as possible; be sure to stare at them the whole time so they get the message, and so that everyone else knows who you’re talking to.  If that doesn’t work, you might consider going to them in private later.
  • Outreach is overrated.  You’ll reach far more people if you refrain from doing any activities where you interact with the community at large. Stay away from any charity or missions programs, never interact with other churches, and make sure that no one in your congregation has any idea how to witness.
  • If your church has to relocate, for whatever reason, you should not even think about calling your members, recent visitors and attendees.  Anyone who really belongs to the church will have heard about the move already or can ask a member that already knows.
  • If a member brings a visitor to your church, and that person is obviously not saved, you should make sure to take the first opportunity to scold the church member for being “yolked with unbelievers”.  They should know better than to bring unsaved people into the church!
  • Things like taking prayer requests or setting up prayer lists and prayer chains are unnecessary.  No one should ever think that the church cares about major problems or illnesses they are dealing with, and they should never get the idea that they have an adopted family backing them up when they’re going through a hard time.
  • Every single sermon should be positive, affirming, comfortable, saccharine, and uplifting.  Never preach against sin; never preach about accountability, leading a holy life, or working for the Lord; never teach your congregation how to flee from temptation, grow their relationship with Christ, deal with adversity or persecution, or get through tough times.  As long as you pretend the Christian life is all smiles and roses their lives will be perfect, and so will yours.  It’s fine to just ignore or rephrase any Bible verse that seems ugly or difficult.  As long as you keep tickling everyone’s ears their money will keep hitting your coffers… and that’s the real measure of success, right?
  • Hypocrisy is very attractive, you should show it whenever given the least opportunity.  “Do as I say, not as I do” is a great philosophy for any Christian to live by, especially a pastor.
  • The music service should be all about entertaining your congregation.  It’s really just a feel-good concert and should be approached as such, after all, they’re paying for it right!?  If people happen to worship God some while they’re at it that’s okay, I guess, but your top priority should be making sure everyone’s happy and entertained.

 

I’m sure I could add a lot to this list, but I’m getting tired so I’m gonna call it.  Do you have any to add?

 

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Filed under Bible Study, Rants, Tips & Advice

Negative Nancy

“Negativity” is a curse word in certain circles.  People seem to think that the perfect world would be stocked by those who see nothing but sunshine and roses and walk around with smiles on their faces at all times.

I’ve never subscribed to that kind of philosophy, in fact, the saccharine happy smiley philosophy got on my nerves so badly when I was  younger that I proclaimed myself a pessimist and lived in misery quite happily (er, uhm, unhappily).

These days I’m not a pessimist.  At least not in general.  Though there may be a few subjects where I still see gloom and doom as the rule, for the most part I don’t live there.

Many people who know me probably think I do, though.  Others who know me might think I’m one of those saccharin happy people.  It all depends on where you see me, what kind of moods you see me in, what my pain levels tend to be those times, and, frankly, how well you understand the things I’m saying.

At times I find myself wanting to grab people by the shoulders, look them straight in the eye, and ask “do you understand.. the words.. that are coming out of my mouth!?”

The thing is, “negativity” has become one of those words, like “judgmental”, that is thrown around as a slight, out of context and completely regardless of actual context or intent.

If I disagree with you?  Call me negative.  If I voice an opinion you don’t like?  Call me negative.  If I acknowledge someone else’s pain or difficulty? By all means, call me negative.  But calling me that doesn’t make it true.

The fact is, positive sounding words and platitudes can lead to negative results, and negative sounding things can lead to positive results.  Context and intent is usually more important than grammar.

If you walk up to someone who’s laying in a muddy puddle and crying, and you say “aren’t you grateful for this day? look how lovely it is!”, how is that helping them?  It’s not.  Unless you say it in a bizarre voice with just the right look that makes them understand you’re being sarcastic and just trying to make them laugh… it’s not going to help their situation, it’ll just make them feel worse.  It may, however, make you feel good, if you’re the kind of person that thinks throwing out platitudes makes you great because it’s “spreading positivity” — in which case you’re just plain clueless.

Saying “I just lost my job, my dog died yesterday, and my house is falling apart around me” is negative if you’re talking to someone who just shared great news with you, it’s only going to bring them down.  But it can be positive if you’re talking to someone who’s had the worst day of their life, and you end it with “I know how you feel” and “how can I help?”.

If you share a scientific article about a miracle treatment with me, I’m most likely going to critique it from a scientific viewpoint.  If it’s a crappy article, with insufficient evidence for its conclusions or bad data, or badly designed experiments, the most helpful response, in the end, is going to be ‘negative’.  If it’s a great article, but it pertains to something you’re dealing with personally and the conclusions indicate that the miracle cure won’t be around in time to help you, then the most helpful response will be lukewarm.  Context matters.

If you write the most beautiful self-help article, full of sunshine and happiness, but it’s end effect is to make people feel like crap for being unhappy, it’s not a positive article.  If you write a blog entry about the worst day of your life, but it makes people laugh, it’s not a negative post.  Context matters.

I call things the way I see them, and I have a bad habit of assuming that the people around me will make an effort to follow context and consider intent.  That backfires frequently and I get called negative many times when it’s just not the case.  Next time you think of throwing that word at someone, stop and consider the context.  And you may want to consider your own preconceptions and prejudices as well.

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Filed under Personal, Tips & Advice

What are you missing?

So many things in this life can blind us to the reality around us.   We miss the faults in the one we’re in love with, we miss the good in the ones we hate; greed, evny or ambition can blind us to those we hurt around us, or the happiness we miss out on by barreling through life; an eye patch on a good eye can correct it’s lazy counterpart, blinders on a horse can protect it from spooking.

Woman with One Eye CoveredWe all have these blinders in our lives. Sometimes we know they’re there, and welcome them. Some creep up little by little and we don’t even notice. Some, we’ve gotten so used to that we can’t even remember what life was like without them.

Sometimes they are beneficial in the short-term, but never in the long-term (never say never, I know, but I can’t think of any).  We’d have no meaningful relationships if we couldn’t overlook the faults of the ones we love (no one’s perfect), but being completely blind to all faults leads to things like ignoring the abuse of one’s own child at the loved-one’s hand.  A horse made safer by blinders when pulling a cart would be crippled by them trying to navigate a hillside.  A literal blinder on a lazy eye, if left too long, will only create another lazy eye.  

So every once in a while we need to take a step back.  We need to look at our lives, at the relationships we have, at the emotions pervading our daily life, at our list of priorities, at our list of motivations, and maybe even at our physical situation, and see what blinders we have up.  The ones that helped us 5 years ago may be hindering now.  Some may have crept up that do nothing but harm.  We may have some new ones that are actually helpful, but we should note them for future reference, and re-assess them down the road.

Have you taken time to see what you’re missing lately?

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Filed under Deep Stuff, Tips & Advice

My friends never stood… downwind!

A friend on Twitter started doing  Random Tip Tuesday posts and I thought it was a great idea, so I’m being all rude and being a copy cat  I’m sharing a tip of my own today.  I’ll not do this anymore, I feel bad already, I’m sorry.  You should go read hers.

In any case, my parents are good about coming up with the most bizarre suggestions, and this time one of them totally paid off, so I figured I’d share.

A few years ago the green beans we grew were a little more gas-inducing than usual, and Mom was apparently complaining about this to a friend (because who doesn’t want to talk about flatulence with their friends?), who suggested she drop a carrot in the pot next time she cooked up a mess.  Mom thought this sounded odd, but after a while I guess she tried it, and pretty soon she was bragging to me about how much it worked.

I didn’t believe it, but I did try it next time I made beans & cornbread, and was blown away.  

It turns out, if you throw a few baby carrots into a pot of beans while they’re cooking, you can have friends over the next day without being nicknamed Pumba.

And better yet, it seems to work in everything I’ve tried.  I usually have baby carrots around, so I throw 1-3 in a pot, depending on how much I’m cooking.  So far it works with all types of beans I’ve tried, and onion soup.  You can even eat the carrots later, if you’re like me and can’t stand to waste food, but Mom just picks them out and throws  them away before serving the dish.

A certain friend tells me that ginger works just as well, but I can’t stand ginger, and carrots don’t effect the taste of the dish at all (that I can tell).

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Filed under Humor, Tips & Advice

Thoughts on Sarcasm

Lately I keep starting blog entries and not finishing them, so I’m going to try a new thing.  From now on I’m going to give myself an hour per entry.  If I’m not done in 55 minutes I’m going to spend the last 5 rushing to get to the point, and I’ll post it at an hour, done or not.  Hopefully this will help me curb this annoying habit of half-written blogs in text files lol

I was in the shower today and instead of singing like I usually do my mind got stuck on sarcasm, why we use it, and how we can help autistic children (and others) understand it.  Here are my thoughts…

I think we use Sarcasm, primarily, as a defense mechanism when we’re annoyed.  When your child asks you for the 15th time when you’ll get there instead of ripping your (or their) hair out you just say "we’re already there, honey, can’t you tell"?   I could give a ton of other examples, but the ones i could think of all followed this same basic pattern.  Someone asks a stupid question, or makes a stupid statement, which we think they should already know the answer to, or we think they should know better, and instead of venting our frustration in a less-than-pretty way we pop off with a sarcastic comment.

When we use sarcasm with children it can actually be a really great teaching tool.  Most people aren’t going to be sarcastic with their infants or toddlers.  That’s silly, they can’t understand sarcasm, so we usually don’t bother (I imagine the same is true with non-verbal older children).  Besides, your infant/toddler isn’t likely to say something stupid anyway, and if they did they’re young enough you know they wouldn’t understand it’s stupid.  By the time most kids are old enough to start asking "Are we there yet?" 500 times in 10 minutes, though, or "Mom, are you going to feed us lunch today?", they’re also old enough to "get" sarcasm, or at least to start learning it.  So we, probably without conscious thought, start to use it with them.  We start saying things like "no, honey, I’m not going to feed you lunch, you aren’t *really* hungry anyway, are you?"… fully expecting their natural reaction to be shock, and then realization: "yes, I’m hungry!  you’re just saying that, aren’t you? are we going to have lunch *soon*?"  

Most kids can process two opposites well enough to realize that the mother who loves them dearly isn’t likely to just not feed them.  After they get over the initial shock they think about why you’d say such a thing, and it dawns on them that if Mom loves them so much, she’s probably not going to make them starve, and they probably asked the wrong question in the first place.  After enough similar instances (because kids take repetition to learn), the child eventually learns not to ask the annoying questions so often, life is less frustrating for everyone.

For autistic children, though, and children with other learning difficulties, this process doesn’t work so well.  If you tell an autistic kid you aren’t going to feed him, his reaction will often be panic.  He’ll be left with two opposites in his head "Mom loves me" and "Mom isn’t going to feed me lunch today".  This doesn’t compute.  "Maybe Mom doesn’t love me after all."  "What if she doesn’t feed me supper either?"  "But I AM hungry!  I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t hungry!"  And it can spiral from there.  Mom spends a while trying to calm the child and make sure he understands that she does love him and she will feed him and she was just being "sarcastic" she didn’t mean it… eventually he calms down, but without the ability to read body language, or make the jump that explains what caused Mom to respond sarcastically, he’s left not understanding why his mother suddenly lied to him, or when it’ll happen again.

I think most parents with children on the spectrum have been through this type of situation, repeatedly.  It’s not that you’re trying to annoy and confuse your children, it’s just that sarcasm is a natural response to frustration, and stopping it isn’t easy.   So what should you do?  I for one do not think you should train yourself not to be sarcastic.  

I don’t think that helps either one of you.  That child, eventually, is going to have to be let out into the world, so to speak, if he’s not already, and he will encounter sarcasm there.  This is a life skill he needs, and it will help him in a lot of areas, he just needs the tools to understand it.  

Most children, no matter how bad their autism or other disabilities may be, aren’t incapable of learning things, you just have to approach them right.  

When you find yourself being sarcastic with your child (and if you don’t notice beforehand, his reaction will tell you you were sarcastic), after you calm him down, take the time to help him understand what happened.  Explain that you were being sarcastic, define sarcasm for him again, but don’t stop there.  Remind him of what he said, and explain precisely why it was frustrating to you.  Explain that your reaction to that frustration was to say something you knew he should know wasn’t true, and explain that that was supposed to trigger him to think about what he asked/said and whether it was necessary.  Do this every time.  Eventually he’ll remember to think about what he said before panicking, and he’ll begin to internalize the concepts behind sarcasm.  

It may take a while.  Just like it can take a (long) while to get a child potty trained. But once your child grasps sarcasm watch out, he’ll probably use it a lot, and better than you do (lol).

If you have further thoughts on this, or you think I’m wrong, feel free to share in the comments.  I’m certainly not a professional on the subject, and I’m not even a parent, but I am good at using sarcasm, and I think I understand autistic kids better than most.

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Filed under Disability, Tips & Advice

Dear You, Yes, You! Stop Being an Ignorant Fool

ig·no·rant (ˈig-n(ə-)rənt): adjective
1 a : destitute of knowledge or education ; also : lacking knowledge or comprehension of the thing specified b : resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or intelligence
2 : unaware, uninformed
fool (ˈfül): noun
1 : a person lacking in judgment or prudence

Stop believing everything you hear…

from your parents, or any relative for that matter
from your best friend
from your enemy
from your teacher
from the gossip columns
from the your favorite news anchor
from past, present, or future presidents, royalty or leaders of any sort
from the radio
from your pastor (yep, he’s a man, too, believe it or not)
from anyone
they may be mistaken
they may be lying to ‘make you feel better’
they may be intentionally misleading
they may be trying to sound smart
they may be spiteful
chances are none of these will keep them from talking.

Stop believing everything you read….

in your newspaper
on Wikipedia, or any other website, including this one
on the bathroom stall
in a book, no matter how much money went into printing it, no matter the title or popularity of the author
in your church bulletin
on a school handout
in any magazine
in emails, forwarded or not
on bulletin boards or advertisements of any sort
don’t be lazy, check your facts

Stop believing everything you see on TV.

Hollywood has an agenda
Writers usually have an agenda
Directors usually have an agenda
Actors often have an agenda
Politicians have an agenda
Advertisers have an agenda
Reality TV is not real
The news does not tell you everything, every side, or every story, and may even mislead you on purpose.
The crap you consume affects you, even when you don’t notice.

Check your history books

Conspiracies exist outside of fictional stories.
Judgement is not a dirty word.
Propaganda is used every day, and is successful when you don’t recognize it.
Terrorists and terrorist acts are not unique to the last few decades.
Rome fell for a reason (or a lot of them).
When government and religion mix, the result is often ugly.
There are at least two sides to every story, but history often records only one.
Chances are pretty good the world will never revolve around you.
The writers of the Constitution didn’t add the Bill of Rights on a whim.
Intolerance is not a dirty word, everyone has a limit to what they can or will tolerate.

Research is not just something to do when it’s required

research “facts” before you share them.
research stories before you believe them
research alarms before you sound them
research sermons before you preach them
research lessons before you teach them
research gossip before you believe it (and please stop spreading it)
research a theory before you accept it
research an interpretation before you internalize it
research a belief before you accept or share it

Please stop being an ignorant fool. The smarter you are, the more degrees you have, the more times people call you a “professional”, “expert”, “great” or “esteemed” the more likely you are to get cocky and lazy. No matter how many letters are behind your name, how high your IQ, how many arguments you win, or how many people like you, if you’ve chosen to spread nonsense without checking your facts you look like an idiot.  It’s not attractive.  There’s no excuse for it.  Please stop, and I’ll try to stop too.

 

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Filed under Deep Stuff, Tips & Advice