Tag Archives: church

June 16, 2012 · 12:08 am

Let the munchkin-proofing commence

I do my best to try to write a blog entry when I can tell I have too much to say and will end up getting spammy with all of my facebook updates.  I believe I’ve failed that attempt this week.  I’ve just been in too great of a mood and I’ve had way too many things going on.  I think my last blog entry just added to the facebook spam.  Oh well, those that know me very well should be used to me talking (and talking, and talking) a lot by now.

This week just keeps getting better.  I think I last posted here on Monday night, so I’ll pick up from there and give you a quick overview of my week.  I’ll highlight the high points in case you want to skim.  I mostly write these so I can look back on them later, anyway.

I recovered pretty quickly from the all-nighter I pulled Monday waiting for the contractors, which is a rarity for me as that usually hits me pretty hard.  Tuesday I was able to go to the Y and exercise again, I’ve actually gotten there several times over the past week or two, so hopefully it will be an established habit soon.   I discovered more exercise machines I can actually use (which was unexpected, considering I can’t use anything that requires me to use any muscles in my arms, below the elbows, or any muscles in my legs besides inner and outer thigh).  I had to up the weight on the inner/outer thigh machines already, and did an extra set of reps to feel like I was getting a workout!  I even managed to swim without the swim paddles I need — that I can’t afford quite yet — without damaging anything.

I went grocery shopping from there, something I haven’t really been able to do much of lately, found some great deals and got my pantries and freezer pretty well restocked.  I was sore from the workout and barely managed to get the cart to the checkout, but I pushed through (forgive the pun) and managed to get everything put away before I crashed.

I scheduled Wednesday as an off day because I knew I’d been overdoing it, and I knew I had to have energy for Thursday.  I’m glad I did, because don’t remember much of it.  I know when I got up my scale showed me down 5 lbs from the weight I was unable to get below last time I tried to lose weight (I’ve been eating differently but I wasn’t really even trying to lose weight this time).  I think I spent some time highlighting my Bible — I’m slowly trying to migrate my highlights and notes from my old trusty torn apart Bible to the new one.  I think I spent the rest of the day just basically vegging.

Thursday I went bowling with a family from the new church and another mother and her daughter.  I was good and didn’t bowl — I love bowling but it put my arm out of commission for weeks sometimes even before this issue with the nerve intrapment, so I dare not try anymore — but I got to hang out with 5 kids, 2 teens and a couple of adults while they bowled their first game, and then Penny (the mom of most of those kids, who’d invited me) played a game of air hockey and two games of pool with me while the others were either watching us or still bowling.  I had an absolute blast, and I think everyone else had a great time, too.  I even got to play a couple of games of skeetball before we left.  We went to McD’s afterwards to grab a bite to eat and then on to church.  Mike, the 14 yo,  who’s a pretty cool kid, rode in my back seat to both places (I really have to clean my car out, there wasn’t room in the front), and we talked the whole way.

Thursday evening’s service was great as well…

There were a lot more people there than last time, I think because they had some special musicians in that evening.  But even with all of the other musicians there I didn’t get 3 rolls in the door before someone asked me if I was going to sing again, and that question was repeated by enough people that I lost count.   At least a couple of people who hadn’t even been there Sunday came up and told me they were looking forward to hearing me sing because they’d heard someone bragging on me.  I was a little uncomfortable with all of this, but my normal awkwardness didn’t even get a chance to come out, because I was still bubbling over from the great day/week I’d been having.  (Later that night I found myself thinking, “wait a minute!  All that hugging and hand shaking and talking to people and I didn’t even freak out!” lol)

After a few congregational songs, something told me I should try to do one of my personal favorites  (Hail, Hail Lion of Judah!).  After a quick check with one of the ladies to gauge whether the people would be willing to play “repeat after me” on a praise song, I went ahead and got permission to do two both songs (it was made clear I had to do an encore of the song I sang Sunday as well).  With that many people there, almost all ready and willing to learn the song with me, it went incredibly well.  I’ve taught/sang that song at several churches, and I usually get a few to sing along, but the entire room erupted here, and it reminded me of “home”.  The Spirit was in it and I think everyone there got a blessing, I know I sure did.

My voice was tired from talking all day by the time I got to my song, so I don’t think I sang it as well as I had Sunday, but the Spirit was still strong, and I believe a number of people were blessed by it as well.  The other musicians did a great job (including one little girl with an impressive set of lungs and an awesome voice) and the Spirit was with them as well.  Then the pastor’s message was great, inspired, spot-on, and needed, and it touched on some of the things that Mike and I had been discussing earlier in the car.  We spent quite a while in prayer, peppered through the service, and we didn’t get out of there until around 11pm.  That’s my kind of service, the kind where you let God have his way and stay until He’s done :)

I went up to encourage the young singer afterwards and kind of got blocked in, so I was one of the last ones out the door, and ended up talking to people in the parking lot for a while before I left.  Before the night was over I’d asked about (with some prodding from Mike), and given a tentative commitment to helping with their VBS program in July.  I don’t know what I’ll be doing but I bet I’ll have fun! :)

So I got home near midnight, and didn’t remember until about 2am that I would have to be up early in the morning for the contractors that were coming to work on my door.  I tried to pull an all-nighter again, so I wouldn’t have to worry about whether I’d actually wake up when they arrived, but I lost the fight around 6am, and woke up just in time to see the contractor’s truck leaving my driveway.  Thankfully, he called a few minutes later to tell me he would be back shortly but his workers had gotten lost and he had to leave to go pick them up.  Disaster averted, I would have been SO mad at myself if I’d missed them, after trying to get someone to do this job for nearly a year.

Contractors working on my rotten door frame

this is why I was trying to get this worked on months ago

The job took them most of the day, because of more water damage than they’d expected, and having to chisel an old door jam out of cement (whoever put that door in was not bright).   I ended up sleeping through large portions of the work, I slept through chiseling, hammering, drilling and power saws, all feet from where I was sitting lol

In the end I *finally* have a new sliding glass door on the back of my kitchen, and a new entry door on the attached garage.  He didn’t end up charging me any more than the original estimate (which I was worried about because of a misunderstanding and the extra work on the water damage).  There are a few finishing touches and a couple other things I need to pick up, but he’s coming to finish up on Monday.  Since this contractor actually showed up, and seems to have done a good job, I actually have someone I can call the next time.

He also gave me a really low quote on what it would take to get a dishwasher installed in one of my cabinets, so I just have to find a way to round up the money and maybe I’ll be able to do that before too awfully long.   Doing my dishes by hand is incredibly hard for me to do these days, if I could manage to get a dishwasher installed my stress levels would drop significantly, plus I’d have the energy to do other housework that ends up never getting done right now.

They got done just in time for me to get ready and head to church at my regular church.  We had a good service there, and Vivienne showed up. I hadn’t seen her for a long time, and was glad to catch up a bit.  Afterwards, I swung by the park and caught the tail end of a baseball game between the youth and adults at the new church.

So combine this with the last post and I’ve had quite the spectacular and busy week, and I’m not sure it’s over yet.

This coming week I have a date on Wednesday to take my friend Hunter (and maybe his mom) to Skyline Chili for kids’ night.   I also have to child-proof and clean my house, and I have to try to find a way to get my schedule moved back around to something approaching normal hours, because the week after next my friend’s preschooler, Kayley, will be coming to hang out with me.  For now, I’m going to go see how much sleep I can get, lol.

Goodnight world.

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June 11, 2012 · 4:34 pm

Answered prayers and such

I know I haven’t posted anything here for a while, but it’s not exactly for lack of trying.  I have at least 5 posts I’ve been trying to write but I just can’t seem to get anything to the point I actually feel comfortable posting it lately.

I’ve been in a bit of a funk the past few weeks (okay, that’s a massive understatement), but I believe yesterday evening was a huge turning point for me.

I’ve been checking out a new church lately (while still going to my current one — I love those people dearly but the church just isn’t accessible, and I don’t feel like it’s a place I can really be used), I’ve been there 3 times now and yesterday the pastor’s mother took it upon herself to make sure that I got to sing.  I sang one of my own songs that I haven’t sang in public for probably a year or more, and it went really well.  God seems to have touched nearly everyone in that service through my song, I had people chasing me down to make sure I knew about it, too.  I’ve never seen a reaction that strong before, and the timing was great, I really needed the pick-me-up.

After that, the pastor’s sermon hit me just right, I’m not even sure what he said exactly, but it was just what I needed to hear to finally let go and step out on faith on a couple of things that have been holding me back for a long time.  To top it all off, one of the ladies invited me to come join a group at McD’s after the service, and we sat there talking until they kicked us out at midnight.  If you know me very well you’ll probably be able to pick out about 7 answered prayers in the past couple paragraphs.

After I got home I pulled an all-nighter, I had some contractors due to come install a new door and I didn’t want to sleep through it  (which is the only bit of bad news in this post, it started pouring down rain around sunrise, and they had to postpone til Friday).  While I was up, I managed to get about 20 more songs recorded for the Praise Songs Database, and I actually got them updated to the site, along with a bunch of updates I’ve been putting off for months.

Then I made a couple of phone calls — I got resolution on one issue that’s been seriously stressful for me for the past 2 months, and I made the first step in finding a solution for another issue that’s been a huge stressor for years now.

So all in all this is shaping up to be a really awesome week, here’s hoping the trend continues, but even if it doesn’t I think I’ve had enough blessings to carry me for a little while.

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July 28, 2011 · 6:33 am

How to lead the best church ever!

This list is intended as a funny way to call attention to some of the major problems in churches today.  In case it’s not painfully obvious, nearly everything that follows contains pure, dripping sarcasm.  Unfortunately, I have encountered some or all of these issues/attitudes in most of the churches I’ve visited over the past decade or so.

  • Your church does not need to be accessible.    After all, you don’t want any disabled, injured or old people in your congregation anyway, right?  They’ll just get in the way.
  • Those posted hours?  Not important.  There’s no reason to show up for services, no one’s coming anyway.  And don’t ever leave a note on the door if you happen to go elsewhere or cancel service, no one’s gonna come by to check out your church on the one night you’re gone, especially if you have a big blinky welcome sign out front.  Whatever you do, do not call your regular members and let them know what’s going on if you have to cancel a service, they won’t care if they show up and the doors are locked.
  • If you’re a pastor, be sure to complain about former members that have wronged you, or the church, from the pulpit.  Your congregation needs to know you’ll snipe at them behind their backs if they ever do you wrong.  It won’t look bad on you personally, and it’s not gossip or anything.
  • Stay far far away from the internet.  No one who just moved to your area will ever think of looking for a church online, and no one wants to keep up to date with church activities on sites like twitter or Facebook, the whole of the internet is a silly, evil fad, and it’ll eventually go away if you ignore it.  Never return emails or phone calls either, if it’s important they can ask you face to face.
  • If someone misses a week or two, just forget about them.  If they really care about God they’ll come back eventually, and if they don’t you were better off without them anyway.  No one wants their church family calling to check on them when they’re sick or unable to get to church.  And they certainly won’t want to hear a friendly voice if they’re depressed or oppressed.
  • Any visitor that comes through your doors and doesn’t meet your personal standards for dress, hygiene, adornments, skin color, class, or anything else should be immediately ostracized so that they know they’re in the wrong place, preferably before they even get a chance to sit down.  This can be accomplished with dirty looks, scowls, whispers, and random gasps from a trained congregation, assuming you don’t wish to take a more direct approach.  It’s only fair that they know from the get-go that they aren’t welcome, it’ll save awkwardness later.
  • Be sure to complain regularly and loudly from the pulpit about the horrible people that keep calling the church asking for help and handouts.  And whatever you do, never ever let the song leader sing songs with lyrics like “God loves a cheerful giver”, “give me Your love for humanity” or “they will know we are Christians by our love”.
  • Do not, under any circumstances, find something for a church member to do if they come to you asking how they can help.  No one really wants to feel like they’re doing something constructive for God or the congregation, so they must have an ulterior motive.  If you deflect or ignore them enough they’ll give up and leave you alone, a sure sign that you were right and they really didn’t want to help in the first place.
  • If someone is too loud, sings off key, gets too excited during worship and actually shows emotion, yells “amen”, or has the audacity to bring their child into the sanctuary with them, you should make sure they’re immediately pulled aside and schooled on proper church etiquette.  Patriarchs like David never danced, or sang, or acted ‘crazy’ when they got excited about God, and Jesus never would have let kids get close when he was preaching!
  • The pulpit is the best place to call out the sinners in your congregation.  If you find out someone’s fallen into a specific sin you should preach a sermon against it as soon as possible; be sure to stare at them the whole time so they get the message, and so that everyone else knows who you’re talking to.  If that doesn’t work, you might consider going to them in private later.
  • Outreach is overrated.  You’ll reach far more people if you refrain from doing any activities where you interact with the community at large. Stay away from any charity or missions programs, never interact with other churches, and make sure that no one in your congregation has any idea how to witness.
  • If your church has to relocate, for whatever reason, you should not even think about calling your members, recent visitors and attendees.  Anyone who really belongs to the church will have heard about the move already or can ask a member that already knows.
  • If a member brings a visitor to your church, and that person is obviously not saved, you should make sure to take the first opportunity to scold the church member for being “yolked with unbelievers”.  They should know better than to bring unsaved people into the church!
  • Things like taking prayer requests or setting up prayer lists and prayer chains are unnecessary.  No one should ever think that the church cares about major problems or illnesses they are dealing with, and they should never get the idea that they have an adopted family backing them up when they’re going through a hard time.
  • Every single sermon should be positive, affirming, comfortable, saccharine, and uplifting.  Never preach against sin; never preach about accountability, leading a holy life, or working for the Lord; never teach your congregation how to flee from temptation, grow their relationship with Christ, deal with adversity or persecution, or get through tough times.  As long as you pretend the Christian life is all smiles and roses their lives will be perfect, and so will yours.  It’s fine to just ignore or rephrase any Bible verse that seems ugly or difficult.  As long as you keep tickling everyone’s ears their money will keep hitting your coffers… and that’s the real measure of success, right?
  • Hypocrisy is very attractive, you should show it whenever given the least opportunity.  “Do as I say, not as I do” is a great philosophy for any Christian to live by, especially a pastor.
  • The music service should be all about entertaining your congregation.  It’s really just a feel-good concert and should be approached as such, after all, they’re paying for it right!?  If people happen to worship God some while they’re at it that’s okay, I guess, but your top priority should be making sure everyone’s happy and entertained.

 

I’m sure I could add a lot to this list, but I’m getting tired so I’m gonna call it.  Do you have any to add?

 

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November 30, 2010 · 8:02 am

I am not a sinner saved by grace

I am not a sinner saved by grace.

And neither are you.

Or rather, you shouldn’t be.

Either you’re a sinner, or your a new creature in Christ, you don’t get to be both.

Christ did not save me so that I could go back and wallow in a pit of despair, saying "woe is me" while I continue to live in the shackles of sin that He died to break me out of!  

A few posts ago I wrote about "denying the power", about how 2 Timothy 3:1-5 was speaking specifically about this issue.  (You might want to go back and read it if you get a chance.)

I’m not sure why I’m posting again on this same subject, except hat it’s been bugging me more and more lately, as I’m hearing person after person spout the "I’m just a sinner like everyone else, I’m just a sinner saved by grace" nonsense.  If you are just a sinner, and nothing else, then you are denying Christ!  Christ is not some lame duck God that has no power to help you keep from falling into the sins that he died to bring you out of.  He is real, living, powerful, capable, and absolutely able to cleanse and sanctify.  And if you don’t believe that, then you might as well throw away your Bible and live up to that "sinner" label you’re so fond of.

He did not save you so that you could go wallow in the mud of your familiar sins!  

Christians love to quote 1 Corinthians 10:13 — Or, I should say, they love to misquote it.   They love to say that "God won’t give you more than you can handle" — ignoring the obvious context of the verse, and the actual text of the verse, they take something said about temptation, and make it about life’s burdens.  It’s great to think that God won’t let life throw us more burdens than we can bear.  It’s not so great to think that we have no excuse  for our sins.  But that’s exactly what this verse says:

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

That’s right.  God won’t allow you to be tempted beyond what you can, but will provide a way of escape.  That means for every temptation to sin, there is a way for you to check yourself, and not sin.  Every time you’re tempted, you have a choice.  

As Christians, we are to learn to look for those choices, look for those ways of escape, and get better and better at not sinning when faced with temptation.  

Does this mean that every Christian is going to be perfect?  Of course not.  We’re still human, and we still have to wrestle with these choices, and we’re still going to screw up from time to time.  But as Christians we have a responsibility to lay aside our old, sinful nature, and live as a new creature.  A creature with the power of Christ and the Holy Spirit behind us.  

Insisting on claiming the label of "sinner", even in the context of a "sinner saved by grace", is essentially denying what was given to you when you accepted Christ as Lord.  You might as well be throwing down that spotless garment and picking up the old one again.  "I don’t want to seem like I’m better than anyone else, I’ll just wear this dirty rag, okay, Lord?".  How insulting can you get?   
Furthermore, the more often you say you’re just a sinner (yeah, yeah, saved by grace), the less likely you’ll be to look for that way out.  After all, you’re just a sinner, and God’s grace is sufficient, right?  Why not just give in to the temptation?  I’m not any different from anyone else, after all, right?  

And we wonder why so many Christian leaders fall?  We need to purge this ridiculous notion from the body of Christ.  We are not just sinners saved by grace.  We were sinners.  We were saved, by grace.  And now we’re new creatures, and we need to stop denying the power that was given to us and learn to live that way.

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May 2, 2007 · 9:45 pm

FINALLY

Most people that would bother reading this blog know that I’ve been having a hard time finding a decent church here.

I think I finally found one!

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